Josiah.

I'll never forget that spring day my freshmen year of college. The day I was baking a cake in the dorm kitchen and my mom called. She makes small talk, then asks with a laugh,

"Are you sitting down or standing up?"

 "Mom what's wrong?"

"Well, nothing is really wrong..."

"Is it good news or bad?"

"Well I think its good..."

And then it was like I just knew.

"Mom, are you pregnant?"

"Yes."

I would like to tell you that my first response was utter joy, and I behaved like a loving, excited daughter and big sister.

But that did not happen.

Confused, upset, aggravated. I thought they were done!?. Would all be accurate discriptions of how I felt those first few hours (ok, maybe days).

Over the following months, I came to grips with the fact my parents 9th child would grace us with his presence in October. I became excited about becoming a big sister. again. Was even able to be home a little more when Mom was put on bedrest. But I'm pretty sure nothing could prepare me for what we realized on that rainy October 22nd.

"He has DOWNS." was the word I got from my dad.

He what?

It took 3-4 weeks for the blood work to come back to confirm what the doctors suspected. However, it took our family no time to realize we knew little to nothing about Down Syndrome. Mom and Dad had been birthing and taking care of children for 20+ years, and it felt like suddenly they were brand new parents again. We all loved my new brother Josiah so much. Yet, there was this "fear of not knowing".

5 years later, Josiah is a joy and bright spot in my parents' home. Overflowing with personality!

He likes to swing and swim.
He is stubborn. 
He is funny.
He loves ice cream and popcorn.
He wears glasses.
He goes to school.
He snorts when he laughs.
He loves dogs.

Looking back I can see how the Lord placed people in my family's path to guide, help, and understand the next part of our journey. It has been a learning process for all of us, a road that at times (I know for my parents especially) has seemed long and hard. But it has also been a fun ride as a family. We have celebrated the smallest of victories, while smiling and laughing our heads off at seeing this world through Josiah's eyes.

Josiah's journey will probably be a lot different than others his age. But that's something we're ok with as a family. Because he is ours. 

Lord, forgive me for my selfishness as a college freshmen. 

Happy Birthday Josiah! I love you and love being your big sister!